Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Bloody Mary (part 1)

Posted by Mary Sue at 6:10 AM
Dear dairy, today i killed myself. oh black despera... Ugh.. this
sounds likes some freeking eemo livejournal accunt, but i ensure yoyu
i had validations to did that!
It all begone when i was with my granna discusseing ways to get my
powers reinstated.
"So you did had the sex" my gran said with a face of unfriendly friend
"yes gramma, i am sorry so T__T" i said, my tears were streaming down like youtubers on braodband

"and you lost your the powers.?" grandma said spating a bit and the
spit diluted in my tears
"yes i said" and showed her trying use the powers and the powers not giving
"pfft u depictable slutter" she tilted her head towards her bag to
vomit her regular vomit "wall, i have a way to to get your ways back
into power, but it is a last resort, dont fuck it up" she said she
said fuck in italics on purpose because last time i fucked i fucked up >__<

"what is your plan oh wonderful grangmother oversear?" i tried to
butter her boots with complimentations maybe like that she love me
again ;__;

"For what u did there you desurve to burn in the armpits of hell" she
said angery, there was fire in her hole "but we i fortunatly know a
way to undo the done, we can go back in time to the before you had
that homossexual encounter of the sex kind."

"Oh grandma I love you in a salad way!" i said with trmbling eyes.

"Yär Yär so lets do the proceizures" she started rubbing her heads one
to each other. "First we need 2 bottles of caribbean coca cola." I
went get caribbean coka cola. "then we need 2 ryanair tickets to abu
dhabi" i went get the tikkets (to internet) then copy pasted them. "ok
so now licke them" i licked the tickest, they tasted like tastebuds.
"ok now get me the computre" i got the computer and came back carrying
the computer "put it just put it there" i put it there "and now you
must access facebook and put your status as CURRENTLY HAVING MY
ARMPITS SHAVED BY A BRAZILIAN ORPHAN just like that in caps locke"
i did it and all my facebook friends said lol, one said ;).
"ok now do the makaroni dance" i started performing in a handshake
fashion ""nonono that is the macarana dance i said makaroni dance it
is a dance by a song by perfume by japanese." oh ok i googled makaroni
perfume japanese and then youtubed it and then dancedd accordiangly.
"ok very well now we both drink the venetian coca colas you previously
baught and we stand in those chairs in a relaxed pose" i did just that
she did too "now say: the dog that the dog that the university teacher
hated the most was black and died on the 12th year of the Heisei
period at 6:62 am yesterday in japanese" i said the dog that the dog
that the universiyty teacher ated the most was black and died on the
12th year of the Heisei period at 6:62 am yesterday in japanese cuz i
know japanese.
"very good now for the gran finale, we jump"
"where?"
"there"
i jumped there. she jumped there too. and we both got squeezed through
time and spacey like a heinz ketchup bottle. my grandma tapped my butt
a little bit so i came out easier. when i came out i was all red from
the ketchap. at first i panicked attacked a bit cuz i thought it was
bleeding but then i smelled it like ketchup and it was ketchup ^_^ my
grandma had a little bit of blood though cuz she just had her period
and she doesnt wear vaginal pensions she sayd their improper the only
thing that may touch a women's holy vajesus area is a perfectly clean
and properly married penis. i disagree thoguh, evax is perfectly fine.

[if you dont know what evax is: http://imagesa.ciao.com/ies/images/products/normal/788/product-1788.jpg]

my grandma shot a bit of mouthwash mixed with shamwow out of her hands and we got clean in a instantaneous =D

so now we were in the past i checked my cells it was the day before.

"ok lets just make sure you got your vaginity back by making a power"

"ok" i said and putted my hands in postition for power "RUN RUN PORTABLE LESBIAN"
my han ds sparked and zooted, and then...
Shane came out like always! ^__^
I was so happy i kissed shane in the lipos. but she was small chibi so i almost swallod her like a adams apple oops =P

my grand slapped shane across the faces. she does not like the lesbians >_< shane was scared so she ran back to the world betrween my hands

"gradnma you shouldnt have"
she slapped me now this time. "shutup we still havent mission accomplished"she said and then said "we are in the past so there is now two mary sues and two mary sues in this world"

"what like a twins ister or a clone wars?"
"of course what did you expect? that they had switched with us in the tomato sauce express?"
"your'e right, its to be expected that this happens. so now what?"
"now we must kill them so that only remains one of you and one of a me"
"WATH?" i yelled in scream and a bunch of seagulls ran away
"thats right. you kill you and i kill me. So let's go" she started walking
"WaIT, ow am i supposed to do that?"
"you finger that out for yourself. you got powers now back right? you at about this time are probibily going to school so go now and kill yourself on the way to school. and by kill yourself i mee kill the other you"
"i know what you mee, ni'm not stupid" i interruptioned her "ill do it dont worry"
"ok, see you later" and then she went home to kill the other mary sue

allright i thought to myself, "this mission is going to take a lot of CPU so i better get my balls in place!" i pretended i had balls and that i was putting them in the place. i also did 5 mins of yogurt and then i was ready ^^
"lets do it do~!"

i got myself on the way to the way to school, all the trees on the sidewalk shaked their heads in comprehension, they knew i about to do something major and they giving me their condolezzas.
when i got to the way i saw myself. i was walking and i was beautifull**~~ i never had a notice of how pretty and amazing i was before. it was quite a site to be old. now i understand why everyone <3s me lol
BUT THIS WAS NO TIME TO STARE AT MARY IT WAS TIME TO KILL MARY so i puzzled myself in Ryu form and then...
(yo be continued)

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