A new asian appears!

Oh my gladddd! ^^ greatt nyewwwss! today we got a new studnt in our class her name is Gayumi homosekusu snd she is exchange from Japan ^__^

from moment i saw her first i knew we would be bust friends (i am no long bff with hannah montanha she sucks now, she dresses like a sl*t on steroids with her pants glued to her package, she is changed, the other day we were in the cafeteria discussing salad dressings and the topic of jay/z cum up and shews like "i dont like jay-z i dont lisn to pop music im more lik into like janice chopin, that shit is so cash " and like i dont even know who thet lady janice is but im pretty sure she sucks c#ck and is from the devil)

anyways as is was saynig as first as i saw Gayumi wearing her sailor fucku (japnese sailor uniform) pink cat ears and a bag shaped like clefairy i knew we willd be the closets friends.
she was alalone in the hell l00king a bit lost staring at her pink cellpohn which had a lot of mini accossories strap on including all the 1st gen 151 pokemon and togekiss, and she came and to me she said:
"OMG You are so kawaii desu!!"
"oh thanks ^__^" i said, blistered. "who are you? i dont reocgnaize u are u newb here?"
"yes i am desu (^-^*)" she replied smilie. her breath smellt like straeuberry pushpop. "My name is Gayumi Homosekusu. it is a pleasure to meet you onegaishimasu desu.(*≧▽≦)"
"nice to met you 2 ^^ do u need any help 2 show you 2-way?"
"actually...（．＿．） I'm looking for room 101, do you know where it is desuka?"
"oh sure! it is my room aslo, i guess we r in the smae class ^o^"
"Oh, that is so happy desu! ureshii desu! (＾∇＾)"

so i showered her the way and she sat in the empty sat next to me where used to bolognese Sakura but who recently has gone missingno.
Soob the teached arrived with a smile in her ears and a suprise in her eye. she stood in front of us quiet like a stripper pole. finaly she said:
"Dear students and girl students, today we have a surprise guest judge today"
all the class gasped in bidoof, Gayumi's ears twitted
"His name is Lanzer" she finaly reveal "you migh know him from such movies such as "The electric gigolo" or "Gay Niggers from Outer Space". He is also the creator and foder of Gaya Online"
"Oh i know gaia" i said "i have a gaia myself i am a gaian"
"me too desu" said gayumi
"oh you do whats your usenamer?" i asked her
"furubafan4evaa, whjats yours desuka?"
"oh my is just l Mary Sue l"
"class"the teacher alerted £now is not the time for that mr Lanzer is here for a different purpus. He is an asian therefore he will be teaching u a class of Math-Turbation. Mr kanzer comonin"

Lanzer enterd the room he was undeed an asian but he wasnt to cute maybe a 5.5 his eyse looked like they were upsidown.
"hello there im Lanzer and I'll be teaching you the subject of mathturbastion today." he said while looking at a room full of students "IT is when you combine the process of masturbation with the calculations of math and use it to improve your better quality of living which leads to a happier life" he slimed and then he showed us the graph of a vagina which looked like this ({(/)}) but it had a little black bar censoring the clitorice so it wouldnt be pornographic...

Look guys, I know sexual edincation is importint, cause i watched doctor phil and there was a lady there that hadna had sexual educatin when young and she turned out to be become a porn actress and her mother sold her on ebay and the bids only got to 25 dollars. But at this point in the class i kinda stopped pay atteniton, instead i turned to Gayumi and said hey whats up u doing anything aftre class
"no" she said turning her face around to head me "im free desu"
"well" i said "i could shoe you around sicne youre new"
"sure thats sounds great desu!" she smiled like a million years
"hey, miss gayumi!" Lanzer yelled "pay antetion this is important" he said while holding a dildo shaped like a dolphin (or a dolphin shaped like a dido? i dont know, im not even sure what it is i have to check my notes)

well, i just spent the rets of the class drawing toy story fanart i dru slinky the stretchee dog and the dinosaur, the dinosar is proposing to slinky (he is such a gaynosaur lol) but slinky turns him down cuz he's in love with a Bakugan.
Finly the bella rang annuncing the end of class.
"Class!" Lanzer creamed loudly "don't forgette to do the essay about niggerian vaginas and buy the latest monthly collectible on gaia online it costs only 250 gay cash"
Everyone left the classroom in a hurricane and Lanzer stayed inside harrassing the dildos.

"So, lets go show you around?" i asked Gayumi, she was bowing to every single person that passed, saying goodbye
"lol dont need to do that silly beer=P, youll crack your spain in two if you keep that up. just say bye and/or wave"
"hai hai" she said smiling. when she smiled she looked even more asian, almost eskimo even, but it was cute
"ickymyshow!" i said, it means lets go in japanese, i speak fluid japanese.

so i showed her all the important places that asians must go to when they visit Massapão, i showed her the manga and anime store, the video game store, the mathbook library, the chinese restaurant "xiongmao poo", the tokyo tower replica store, and the jackie chan statue, which is right next to the statue of our town founding fathers, simon cowell and simon fuller. So while i wa sthere i told her the story of how this wonderful town came to birth.

"...and that's how the midgets finally won the right to drive segways and that's why this town is called Massapão." i said, finishing up the story. sorry i only wrote the end of the stury, it is kinda long, almost 9 inches long and 3 inches thick, so i'll just leave you with a little teaser trailer and maybe next time you get to see the full version ;)
"fascinating desu" she said with trembling eyes "I'm really enjoy this"

suuddely someone came bees on my back and covered my eyes. i didnt know who it was so when that person asked guess who this is i said i dont know cuz i didnt know.
"Σ(O_O；)Shock！！" said Gayumi in shock
"dont tell her who is i am" ordained the voice behind my years. it was a mail voice. "come on Mary just guess"
"Mel Gibson?" i guess the first person that pooped in my head
"a little less racist" said the voicemail
"Leonardo dicaprio??" i guessed cuz i wish it was him <3<3<3
"no, a little gayer" the voice said warmly against my neck
"Ryan Seacrest?" i said starting to get the impatient, this guy was pulling the gypsies on me.
"no, a little more jailbait"
"Justin Bieber?"
"TRALALA DING DONG" He said announcing the right answer was right and i was free. I turned around to face Justin and it was indeed Bieber.
"Omg! Biebas i havent seen you in how long!" i said lubricated in joy. Bieber and i go way wayway way back, were great friends i love him longtime. He used to be in my school, but then he changed to our rival school Crème Pâtissière Fête Tout l'Weekend High (CP FTW for short). It's a really fancy school and he's really famous now so he needs private classrooms, private teachers, private bathrooms and private ice cream machines.
(to be continued0

☆☆☆☆☆i swear to god..☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

guys i am s sorry for the lack of updates but is just i am still getting used to this new dimension , at first phew weeks i was a bit jetlegged and my periods is still irregular like i used to get it eyryday shane dawson posted a video on utube and now i get it at tusedays after american idol but anyway here i am aback for my fans ^___^

This dimension is so weird like i the other day i was eating cereal and i sayd like this to my grandma: "hey grandmother can u giv me a bigger spoon plz this too smal"(i like big spoons and canot lye lol) and she was like "what? what's a spoon?"
"um, hello, this thing" i showed her the spoon "u use it to eat things that are lioquid or semi liquid"
"oh" she said "you mean a fork"
"NO, a fork is for solids and its all spikey"
"you mean this?" she showd me a fork "this is called a pistachio"
"WHAT? pistachio?? Then what do you call that flaavor of green ice cream no one likes??"
"Pinocchio"
"..??? then what do you call that little maronette of wood who could grow his nose?"
"Germany"
"Than whats the name of the country hitler and arnold sharrtzanigger was born in?"
"arnold shartzwnigger was born in austria... who's hitler?"
"um, wHAT, THAT GUY WHO KILLED A LOT OF JEWS AND GUYS AND PILED THEM ALL TOGETHER"
"Oh, you mean Adolf Warcraft"
"O__O WARCRAFT???? then what's the name of the game about orcs and devils killing each other online that uncle Rabby used to playalot and through which he met a lovely elf called Darwania269 which he fell in love with and he asked her to movin wiht him but it turns out she is actually a 52 year old guy from guatemala but uncle rabby married him anyway but it turns out the guy was only interested in his level 87 elf mage and he stole his password anf ran away to india?"
"that game... i think its called beyonce?"
"BEYONCE? then what do you call that famos afriquan american singer that in mtv a lot?"
"Rihanna"
"NO, the other one"
"Oprah?"
"Oprah doesnt singg!! >_>"
"yes she does she just came a new single called tik tok"
"TIK TOK IS BY KESHA (stylized Ke$ha) and it came out like last year!!"
"but kesha is your favorite dessert!"
"no grandma thats tiramisu -__-"
"tiramisu is what we call when someone throws a fist through your anus and pulls out all the poop"
"WHAATTTTTTtT////??? SRSLY i dont know what that fuck is but it sounds likt thing of devil"
"it is not, it is good for detox, i do it evry month, it is a custom in any spa or jazz club" grandma then looked at the watch and said "oh it is already time for my daily extenze" and then she ran into the bathroom, i dont know what that is but i dont want to know...