The Diary of Mary Sue

A new asian appears!

2010-08-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

Oh my gladddd! ^^ greatt nyewwwss! today we got a new studnt in our class her name is Gayumi homosekusu snd she is exchange from Japan ^__^

from moment i saw her first i knew we would be bust friends (i am no long bff with hannah montanha she sucks now, she dresses like a sl*t on steroids with her pants glued to her package, she is changed, the other day we were in the cafeteria discussing salad dressings and the topic of jay/z cum up and shews like "i dont like jay-z i dont lisn to pop music im more lik into like janice chopin, that shit is so cash " and like i dont even know who thet lady janice is but im pretty sure she sucks c#ck and is from the devil)

anyways as is was saynig as first as i saw Gayumi wearing her sailor fucku (japnese sailor uniform) pink cat ears and a bag shaped like clefairy i knew we willd be the closets friends.
she was alalone in the hell l00king a bit lost staring at her pink cellpohn which had a lot of mini accossories strap on including all the 1st gen 151 pokemon and togekiss, and she came and to me she said:
"OMG You are so kawaii desu!!"
"oh thanks ^__^" i said, blistered. "who are you? i dont reocgnaize u are u newb here?"
"yes i am desu (^-^*)" she replied smilie. her breath smellt like straeuberry pushpop. "My name is Gayumi Homosekusu. it is a pleasure to meet you onegaishimasu desu.(*≧▽≦)"
"nice to met you 2 ^^ do u need any help 2 show you 2-way?"
"actually...（．＿．） I'm looking for room 101, do you know where it is desuka?"
"oh sure! it is my room aslo, i guess we r in the smae class ^o^"
"Oh, that is so happy desu! ureshii desu! (＾∇＾)"

so i showered her the way and she sat in the empty sat next to me where used to bolognese Sakura but who recently has gone missingno.
Soob the teached arrived with a smile in her ears and a suprise in her eye. she stood in front of us quiet like a stripper pole. finaly she said:
"Dear students and girl students, today we have a surprise guest judge today"
all the class gasped in bidoof, Gayumi's ears twitted
"His name is Lanzer" she finaly reveal "you migh know him from such movies such as "The electric gigolo" or "Gay Niggers from Outer Space". He is also the creator and foder of Gaya Online"
"Oh i know gaia" i said "i have a gaia myself i am a gaian"
"me too desu" said gayumi
"oh you do whats your usenamer?" i asked her
"furubafan4evaa, whjats yours desuka?"
"oh my is just l Mary Sue l"
"class"the teacher alerted £now is not the time for that mr Lanzer is here for a different purpus. He is an asian therefore he will be teaching u a class of Math-Turbation. Mr kanzer comonin"

Lanzer enterd the room he was undeed an asian but he wasnt to cute maybe a 5.5 his eyse looked like they were upsidown.
"hello there im Lanzer and I'll be teaching you the subject of mathturbastion today." he said while looking at a room full of students "IT is when you combine the process of masturbation with the calculations of math and use it to improve your better quality of living which leads to a happier life" he slimed and then he showed us the graph of a vagina which looked like this ({(/)}) but it had a little black bar censoring the clitorice so it wouldnt be pornographic...

Look guys, I know sexual edincation is importint, cause i watched doctor phil and there was a lady there that hadna had sexual educatin when young and she turned out to be become a porn actress and her mother sold her on ebay and the bids only got to 25 dollars. But at this point in the class i kinda stopped pay atteniton, instead i turned to Gayumi and said hey whats up u doing anything aftre class
"no" she said turning her face around to head me "im free desu"
"well" i said "i could shoe you around sicne youre new"
"sure thats sounds great desu!" she smiled like a million years
"hey, miss gayumi!" Lanzer yelled "pay antetion this is important" he said while holding a dildo shaped like a dolphin (or a dolphin shaped like a dido? i dont know, im not even sure what it is i have to check my notes)

well, i just spent the rets of the class drawing toy story fanart i dru slinky the stretchee dog and the dinosaur, the dinosar is proposing to slinky (he is such a gaynosaur lol) but slinky turns him down cuz he's in love with a Bakugan.
Finly the bella rang annuncing the end of class.
"Class!" Lanzer creamed loudly "don't forgette to do the essay about niggerian vaginas and buy the latest monthly collectible on gaia online it costs only 250 gay cash"
Everyone left the classroom in a hurricane and Lanzer stayed inside harrassing the dildos.

"So, lets go show you around?" i asked Gayumi, she was bowing to every single person that passed, saying goodbye
"lol dont need to do that silly beer=P, youll crack your spain in two if you keep that up. just say bye and/or wave"
"hai hai" she said smiling. when she smiled she looked even more asian, almost eskimo even, but it was cute
"ickymyshow!" i said, it means lets go in japanese, i speak fluid japanese.

so i showed her all the important places that asians must go to when they visit Massapão, i showed her the manga and anime store, the video game store, the mathbook library, the chinese restaurant "xiongmao poo", the tokyo tower replica store, and the jackie chan statue, which is right next to the statue of our town founding fathers, simon cowell and simon fuller. So while i wa sthere i told her the story of how this wonderful town came to birth.

"...and that's how the midgets finally won the right to drive segways and that's why this town is called Massapão." i said, finishing up the story. sorry i only wrote the end of the stury, it is kinda long, almost 9 inches long and 3 inches thick, so i'll just leave you with a little teaser trailer and maybe next time you get to see the full version ;)
"fascinating desu" she said with trembling eyes "I'm really enjoy this"

suuddely someone came bees on my back and covered my eyes. i didnt know who it was so when that person asked guess who this is i said i dont know cuz i didnt know.
"Σ(O_O；)Shock！！" said Gayumi in shock
"dont tell her who is i am" ordained the voice behind my years. it was a mail voice. "come on Mary just guess"
"Mel Gibson?" i guess the first person that pooped in my head
"a little less racist" said the voicemail
"Leonardo dicaprio??" i guessed cuz i wish it was him <3<3<3
"no, a little gayer" the voice said warmly against my neck
"Ryan Seacrest?" i said starting to get the impatient, this guy was pulling the gypsies on me.
"no, a little more jailbait"
"Justin Bieber?"
"TRALALA DING DONG" He said announcing the right answer was right and i was free. I turned around to face Justin and it was indeed Bieber.
"Omg! Biebas i havent seen you in how long!" i said lubricated in joy. Bieber and i go way wayway way back, were great friends i love him longtime. He used to be in my school, but then he changed to our rival school Crème Pâtissière Fête Tout l'Weekend High (CP FTW for short). It's a really fancy school and he's really famous now so he needs private classrooms, private teachers, private bathrooms and private ice cream machines.
(to be continued0

☆☆☆☆☆i swear to god..☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

2010-05-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

guys i am s sorry for the lack of updates but is just i am still getting used to this new dimension , at first phew weeks i was a bit jetlegged and my periods is still irregular like i used to get it eyryday shane dawson posted a video on utube and now i get it at tusedays after american idol but anyway here i am aback for my fans ^___^

This dimension is so weird like i the other day i was eating cereal and i sayd like this to my grandma: "hey grandmother can u giv me a bigger spoon plz this too smal"(i like big spoons and canot lye lol) and she was like "what? what's a spoon?"
"um, hello, this thing" i showed her the spoon "u use it to eat things that are lioquid or semi liquid"
"oh" she said "you mean a fork"
"NO, a fork is for solids and its all spikey"
"you mean this?" she showd me a fork "this is called a pistachio"
"WHAT? pistachio?? Then what do you call that flaavor of green ice cream no one likes??"
"Pinocchio"
"..??? then what do you call that little maronette of wood who could grow his nose?"
"Germany"
"Than whats the name of the country hitler and arnold sharrtzanigger was born in?"
"arnold shartzwnigger was born in austria... who's hitler?"
"um, wHAT, THAT GUY WHO KILLED A LOT OF JEWS AND GUYS AND PILED THEM ALL TOGETHER"
"Oh, you mean Adolf Warcraft"
"O__O WARCRAFT???? then what's the name of the game about orcs and devils killing each other online that uncle Rabby used to playalot and through which he met a lovely elf called Darwania269 which he fell in love with and he asked her to movin wiht him but it turns out she is actually a 52 year old guy from guatemala but uncle rabby married him anyway but it turns out the guy was only interested in his level 87 elf mage and he stole his password anf ran away to india?"
"that game... i think its called beyonce?"
"BEYONCE? then what do you call that famos afriquan american singer that in mtv a lot?"
"Rihanna"
"NO, the other one"
"Oprah?"
"Oprah doesnt singg!! >_>"
"yes she does she just came a new single called tik tok"
"TIK TOK IS BY KESHA (stylized Ke$ha) and it came out like last year!!"
"but kesha is your favorite dessert!"
"no grandma thats tiramisu -__-"
"tiramisu is what we call when someone throws a fist through your anus and pulls out all the poop"
"WHAATTTTTTtT////??? SRSLY i dont know what that fuck is but it sounds likt thing of devil"
"it is not, it is good for detox, i do it evry month, it is a custom in any spa or jazz club" grandma then looked at the watch and said "oh it is already time for my daily extenze" and then she ran into the bathroom, i dont know what that is but i dont want to know...

Bloody Mary (part 2)

2009-11-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

I was like hey Marry Sue whats up girl. She looked at me for 2,3436 microbe seconds and then kept on her way.
"NO wait i need to tell you something of umost importance"
"GO AWAY im not interested in you you" she started double legging away from me, she thought i was coming on her but it was not the case
"LOOK I AM MARY SUE FROM THE FUTURE I NEED YOU TO GO TO FACEBOOK SHAVE A BRAZILIAN AND DRINK A PEPSI ON TOP OF A CHAIR AND THEN DIVE TRHOUGH THE KETCHUP OR YOU WILL DIE!" i tride to squeeze as much info as i could into one sentance but still she did not realize the gravy danger she was deep in
"EEEEWWWW YOU ARE DESGASTING, THAT IS THE MOST GROSSEST SEXUAL PROPOSITION 69 I HAD EVER HEARD!" she said preparing her hands for a attack
"youre gonna get a mini lesbian kick in your ass for that RUN RUN PORTABLE LESBIAN" She summoned shane, and my good intents dried off, no more saving myself i was gonna killl myself for good now
"HADOUUKEN" i yelled for the band, they came out spinning and started lightsabering shane and she died while saying a few prayers to the vagina goddess.
Maru looked at me in fear tremor, she now realized her opponent was a serious business. then she started saying "look i don" but then i ponched her in the ovaries and she screemed at the pot of her lungs. then i grabbed one of the sabres fromthe hadoken and stabbed her through the heart, both left and right and in a diagonal just to make sure she died a certainful death. blood oshed and boozed out of her like a virgin. still her eyes were moving in sevaral directiuns so i held her head with my big menly hands and started putting pressure inwards in a crescendo, her skull felt like it was crashing cuz i could hear the RAKA RAKA RAKA that skulls sound like when they crash. after all the brains had run "i think but there maybe some little leftover in there" had run away from thew ears her eyes turned blue like the bsod, and i knew she was dead.
Ok, done! DEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEEDE the tears blowed trumpets in congrats, wait i mean the trees blowed trumpets not the tears, and it sounded like DEDEDEDEDEDEDE,
"Felicitationes" said the latin oak "thanks i said ant patted the oak"
but now there was an other issue to be dilated with, how do i hid the body
"OK GUYS LISTEN DOWN" oi said to the trees, i said listen down cuz i was down the trees were up "WHO WABBA EAT THIS DELICIOUS MOUNT OF ROTTEN NUTRIENTS that is the body of a little girl and a chibi lesbian?" the trees all raised their hands "OK SO WE GONNA DO ASS FOLLOWS: I BREAK THIS UP INNTO PISSES AND THEN GIVE A LITTLE BIT TO EACH ONE" the trees nodded "WHO IS A VEGETERIN HERE" the sakura said me "OK YOU GET THE CLOTHEA" i nakeded the bodies and gave sakura the clothes she ated them (btw this sakura here is a cherry tree not a person). then i devided the bodies into little sashimi sized pisces using my powerful fist of zen and gave an equal democratic amount to each of the trees. They ate the joyful meal using sticks as chopsticks. After finish they all jinmgled in pleasure and one of them even started evolving like WHAT Pine Tree is evolvong?! TUTUTUTUTU TUTU TUUURUUU TUTU TUTU TUTU TUTU TURUUUU~~~~ PINE TREE HAS EVOLVED INTO XMAS TREE!!! TURURU TURUTURURU RURUUUUUUUU!!!!
"OK GUYS GOCHISOU SAMA DESHITA IM OUT PEACE" the trees goodbyed and i was out
Then i wwnt to school, i was so happy. I had my powers and virgintitty back and ^__^ i was skipping and tictoeing and signing songs all the way then i realized i was still Ryu and everyone was staring at me thinking i was a homosexual , i said no i am not then turned back into mary and everyone went unnotice
Whwn i arriveded at the school the clalss had ready started but teacher said it ok, i was the pet teacher so i could be late if i wanted that. then in middle of class the teacher got twittered by kanye west saying Obama had gotten the nobel of prize and she left the class. OH I KNOW THIS EVENTS, IT HAS AOLREADY HAPPEN IT IS BEFORE sakura greened hannah into a tyranossaurus. "fufufu" i giggled, this time i was gonna CHANGE THE FUTURE- I got to the Robert Pattinson poster sakura was hiding behind, i got my paper knife and started stabbing the hall out of it. The poster starting bleeding and saying "stop its me sakura"
*STABS SOME MORE*
"NO AARRGGGHHH!" *Sakura dies*
i laughed,haha what a producktivo day i killed 3 stonebirds with one hand =D
hwoever the bleeding poster was attractiving attention and everyone was liek what? "the poster of RPATZ is bleEDING IT IS A MIRICLE" said kate Johnson
"IT IS A SIGN FROM HIS HOLI DEITY PATTINSON THAT HE IS GOD AND WE ARE HIS MINISTERS WE MUST MAKE A RELIGIAN!" said john Kateson.
then they all started kneeling in front of the poster and praying incantations, lol, and thats how Pattinsonism was found.

When i got home my grandma was cutting carrets while washing the soap opera and the sink smelled of rotten corpses.
"Britney I DID IT! XD" I joyed a yelling
"Oh wonderful honny i am so fappy for you" my granma said one eye on me one on the opera. "now erevything is back to normal"
i smelled a wondirful smell,"gramma, whats for dinner?"
she didnt answer words she just winked. I looked at the oven, there was a lot of stuffed stuff inside and an arm sticking out.
"OH, Granma, YOU DIDNT! XD LOL" i loled
this time she spoked words:"I guess were having bloddy mary for dinner, and not the cocktail *wink wink*" again the winks, and we all laughed like all the sitcoms had broken loose
It was rielly tastsy actually, kinda like beef meets hamburger meets jamie oliver.
When my grandma was finished eatoing the meat she rised up off the table.
"Is something the meter?" i asked interigged "you usually eat the bones why the sudden end of meal??"
"oh ill eat them later is just its gonna be on the documentary about bbritaney Speaers on Mtv i cant miss it."
"BUt granma! I thought you ated Britnaey Spaers?"
she stopped in midfloor. looked back atme "well Mary..." omg she was looking serious really "..I have something to tel you" she got more serious, i hanged on the cliffhanger
"tell me" i said gasping
"well... it is... you see... ... ... ... ..
...
.........
......
..."

"WHAY IT IT?" i asked in impatient, i was starting to lose the grip of the cliffhanger and about to fall (figuratively of courlse lol)

"well baby i am not your real mother i am your other grandmother"
I shocked in shock
"OMG DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN'T SAY THAT ITS NOT TRUE" this yelling came out of my mouth
"it is" saoid my grandma "your real grandmother came here trying to kill me and i killed her. i am the other grandmother that lives in this alternate dimension. i am kinda like your other grandma but there are difreances. like for a example i enjoy britney spaers and long walks on the beach"
"LONG WALKS ON THE BEATCH OMG THAT IS THE SECOND THING BRITNEY MOST HATED NEXT TO BRITNEY" i said. like i said before, i was shocked
"yeas" my grandma, i mean other grandma prosseagued "this is gonna get some taking used to but im sure we get along just fin ^^"
"ok" i did a bit of shiatsu and calmed down "i can handle this. now if you'll acskuse me i need to go to my my room start working on my diary, today was sutch an inventiful day if i don't stary now i will never get finished"
Luckily for my luck i write my diary in the internate so it is the same for both dimensions (the internete is a web of universal linked files, did you know?) so nothing was changed there it is still thediaryofmarysue.blogspot.org. WAIT.... IT IS NOT.. IT IS NOW THEDIARYOFMARYSUE.BLOGSPOT.COM! IT WAS CHANGE... oh wait wait wait wait wait, no, no, my mistake, it always has been thediaryofmarysue.blogspot.com dot com, sorry ^_^;; i had some kinda reverse-dejavu

OK, so phew, Now I am living in this new dimension. It is a whole new world to discover o am kinda excited i wonder what awaits me ^^

Bloody Mary (part 1)

2009-10-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

Dear dairy, today i killed myself. oh black despera... Ugh.. this
sounds likes some freeking eemo livejournal accunt, but i ensure yoyu
i had validations to did that!
It all begone when i was with my granna discusseing ways to get my
powers reinstated.
"So you did had the sex" my gran said with a face of unfriendly friend
"yes gramma, i am sorry so T__T" i said, my tears were streaming down like youtubers on braodband

"and you lost your the powers.?" grandma said spating a bit and the
spit diluted in my tears
"yes i said" and showed her trying use the powers and the powers not giving
"pfft u depictable slutter" she tilted her head towards her bag to
vomit her regular vomit "wall, i have a way to to get your ways back
into power, but it is a last resort, dont fuck it up" she said she
said fuck in italics on purpose because last time i fucked i fucked up >__<

"what is your plan oh wonderful grangmother oversear?" i tried to
butter her boots with complimentations maybe like that she love me
again ;__;

"For what u did there you desurve to burn in the armpits of hell" she
said angery, there was fire in her hole "but we i fortunatly know a
way to undo the done, we can go back in time to the before you had
that homossexual encounter of the sex kind."

"Oh grandma I love you in a salad way!" i said with trmbling eyes.

"Yär Yär so lets do the proceizures" she started rubbing her heads one
to each other. "First we need 2 bottles of caribbean coca cola." I
went get caribbean coka cola. "then we need 2 ryanair tickets to abu
dhabi" i went get the tikkets (to internet) then copy pasted them. "ok
so now licke them" i licked the tickest, they tasted like tastebuds.
"ok now get me the computre" i got the computer and came back carrying
the computer "put it just put it there" i put it there "and now you
must access facebook and put your status as CURRENTLY HAVING MY
ARMPITS SHAVED BY A BRAZILIAN ORPHAN just like that in caps locke"
i did it and all my facebook friends said lol, one said ;).
"ok now do the makaroni dance" i started performing in a handshake
fashion ""nonono that is the macarana dance i said makaroni dance it
is a dance by a song by perfume by japanese." oh ok i googled makaroni
perfume japanese and then youtubed it and then dancedd accordiangly.
"ok very well now we both drink the venetian coca colas you previously
baught and we stand in those chairs in a relaxed pose" i did just that
she did too "now say: the dog that the dog that the university teacher
hated the most was black and died on the 12th year of the Heisei
period at 6:62 am yesterday in japanese" i said the dog that the dog
that the universiyty teacher ated the most was black and died on the
12th year of the Heisei period at 6:62 am yesterday in japanese cuz i
know japanese.
"very good now for the gran finale, we jump"
"where?"
"there"
i jumped there. she jumped there too. and we both got squeezed through
time and spacey like a heinz ketchup bottle. my grandma tapped my butt
a little bit so i came out easier. when i came out i was all red from
the ketchap. at first i panicked attacked a bit cuz i thought it was
bleeding but then i smelled it like ketchup and it was ketchup ^_^ my
grandma had a little bit of blood though cuz she just had her period
and she doesnt wear vaginal pensions she sayd their improper the only
thing that may touch a women's holy vajesus area is a perfectly clean
and properly married penis. i disagree thoguh, evax is perfectly fine.

[if you dont know what evax is: http://imagesa.ciao.com/ies/images/products/normal/788/product-1788.jpg]

my grandma shot a bit of mouthwash mixed with shamwow out of her hands and we got clean in a instantaneous =D

so now we were in the past i checked my cells it was the day before.

"ok lets just make sure you got your vaginity back by making a power"

"ok" i said and putted my hands in postition for power "RUN RUN PORTABLE LESBIAN"
my han ds sparked and zooted, and then...
Shane came out like always! ^__^
I was so happy i kissed shane in the lipos. but she was small chibi so i almost swallod her like a adams apple oops =P

my grand slapped shane across the faces. she does not like the lesbians >_< shane was scared so she ran back to the world betrween my hands

"gradnma you shouldnt have"
she slapped me now this time. "shutup we still havent mission accomplished"she said and then said "we are in the past so there is now two mary sues and two mary sues in this world"

"what like a twins ister or a clone wars?"
"of course what did you expect? that they had switched with us in the tomato sauce express?"
"your'e right, its to be expected that this happens. so now what?"
"now we must kill them so that only remains one of you and one of a me"
"WATH?" i yelled in scream and a bunch of seagulls ran away
"thats right. you kill you and i kill me. So let's go" she started walking
"WaIT, ow am i supposed to do that?"
"you finger that out for yourself. you got powers now back right? you at about this time are probibily going to school so go now and kill yourself on the way to school. and by kill yourself i mee kill the other you"
"i know what you mee, ni'm not stupid" i interruptioned her "ill do it dont worry"
"ok, see you later" and then she went home to kill the other mary sue

allright i thought to myself, "this mission is going to take a lot of CPU so i better get my balls in place!" i pretended i had balls and that i was putting them in the place. i also did 5 mins of yogurt and then i was ready ^^
"lets do it do~!"

i got myself on the way to the way to school, all the trees on the sidewalk shaked their heads in comprehension, they knew i about to do something major and they giving me their condolezzas.
when i got to the way i saw myself. i was walking and i was beautifull**~~ i never had a notice of how pretty and amazing i was before. it was quite a site to be old. now i understand why everyone <3s me lol
BUT THIS WAS NO TIME TO STARE AT MARY IT WAS TIME TO KILL MARY so i puzzled myself in Ryu form and then...
(yo be continued)

The wuest for faggot tree (part 2)

2009-09-23T21:47:00.000-07:00

"ok" i thought, now i just have to get the fruitys, the quest is almost to unend. i get to the tree and look up. "hmm, the fruits are rather high up maybe i should ask shane to grab them?" but my thoughts were interrupted BAMMM!!! A GUY APPARATED IN FRONT OF ME. He was tall, with longest legs i have ever seen, the longest arms i have ever seen too and also the blondest hair, everything about him was est and he was glorgeous. then i recognaze him IT IS FAI FROM TSUBASA RESISTANCE CHRONCALS
"hallo" i said but since i was drooling a bit it came out as "brlblrbrlbrlo"
"Hi" said Fai "I see you have an interest in my faggot tree"
i cleared the drool from my throat "i just want to get one so i can turn my friend Hannah Montanna back into an human. maybe you know her she is a famos singre she sings..." but he interapted "no, i dont. i dont dwell on earth much. just came here now because i detected intruders. and im glad i did" he smiled and looked me upside down. omg not even aliens are immune to my sax appeal, jesus crest!
"Soo, can you give me one?" i said using my seducking voice, also did a little tongue licking for added erotics
"Maybe..." he said "if you can pay back the favor" he stroked my shoulder genitally.
"OMG YOU PERVORT" i growled backing up "YOU WANNA FUCK ME RIGHT, WHO DO YOU THINK I AM WHAT, I AM NOT SOME KIND OF SLUT YOU CAN FUCK WHEN YOU WANNA FUCK IN EXCHANGE FOR A FRUIT" (forgive me god for the fuck woreds, but they were justifiyed)
"oh really" he said a smile "lets see then" then he put is right hand finger and tumb together (in Brazil this sign means "i want gays sex now") and blew breath throuhg the loophole. a kind of pink powder somoke came out and it smelled really good it smelled of a nice beach sunset petals flowing a couple walking hand in hand looking each others eyes the love kissing gently ythen stroking each others backs slowly removing their clother off and it turns out their both are guys one of them kneels down and starts LICKING THE OTHER GUYS PENIS OMG AND THEN HE PUTS HIS MOUTH AROUND IT AAAAAAH WHAT AM I THONKING WHAT ARE THESE THOUGHTS INVADERING MY HEAD i thought I AM HAVING GAY HOMOSEXUAL THOUTS WTF?
"HAHAHA" laughed fai "If you weren't gay before, you are now. Either way, you are now extremely horny."
I looked up at fai (i had gotten down on the floor rolling aruound too try the shake off the porn movie out of my head but it just wouldnt come out) i already thought fai was beautiful before, but now i thought he was DEAD SEXY WANTED TO FUCK HIM TILL KNOCKOUT TILL HE WAS MULTIPLE PREGNANCIES TILL THE COWS CAME (ooh i am so ashamed of these thootsT_T) i couldnt control himself anymore i grabbed him by the clothes hes wearing and wrapped them into bits, he now stood before me in glowing nakednes OH THE SEXIIIIII but the vagina was nowhere to be found... i moved the penis around tyring to find it...
"that feels good" said fai amused "but maybe you're looking for this." he turned around and divided his butts, revealing AN VIGINA! (umm, btw, i l know what an anus is *sewat drop* but this guy had an actual vagina in his ass! im not joking! hes a freekin alien!)
at the site of that, the member inside my pants grew even larger (i was in Ryu form now so i had a penos) so much that ripped a hole in ryu's uniform. i couldnt delay the invitation any longer i meadeately introduced my penis inside his vagina and we had sex. somehow i knew how to do it i didnt need to think of instructions or complicated combos it was the easiest thing in the worls, and I SHALL NOT GET INTO DETAIL THIS IS NOT A FRAEKING SNUT FANFLICTION. but it was beautiful now that i think about it, it wasnt the dirty slimy gooey thing i had imagined. each penis entrance felt better than the last, and then at the end it jsut went BALLOOOM! SUPER GOOD FEELING! and i felt myself pee a little and then i turned back into Mary sue.
"That was great!" said fai still mooning a little "Wanna do it aga... AAAH WTF WHY ARE YOU A LITTLE GIRL!!"
I was really tired from the super sex i couldnt even talked i just loyed there.
"SHIT NOW IM A PEDOPHILE AND I HAVE TO RUNAWAY FROM THIS PLANET... AGAIN!" and then he zoomed into space like the star trek.
I stoode still on the floor for how many hours, thinking about nothign, felling dirty, devirginized, and then it hit me, I HAD DONE THE SEX I DIDNT HAVE THE POWERS ANYMORE. i got up inraged, "SHEEET!" I anleshed all my anger on punches on the faggot tree (forgive me tree ;_;) until a fruit fell on my head thinking it was thomas edison.
"oh well at least i got a faggot" then i went on my way home
when i reached the town i spotted a green neck wearing a giant clock, it was mileysaurus, she was dressing as a clown dinossaur enterteening childs. i ran to her
"HANNAH, UH I MEAN MILES, UH I MEAN MYLEYSAURUS" i yelled
"SHUSH CALL ME BANANIKA ITS MY CLOWN NAME" hannah whisperd, xcept it was a dinossaur whisper so everyone could heard lol.
"oh ok BANAKINA I GOT YOU YOUR FAGGOT" i threw the fruit up at her mouth. she grabbed it in one bight and then started coming down to human shap. "Oh thank you so much Mary, i dont know who to thank you!"
"thats what barfs are for just keep bein my frend" i said, and then i left for home i was vary tierd.
"Wait Mary, is something wrong with you u seem diffrent?" mary is a relly sencitiv person so she could probbly feel the after sex aura glowering on me "no nothing" i said "just realy tierd from teh quest imm go home and rest ^^"
When i got home my grandma was stooding in wait foe me at the entranse, i had braken my carfew -_-;
"sorry mom" i said heads down
"What is it you been doing this late in the after nuns?!" she was angry >__<
i decided just tell her the thing right away, no use delaying she wuld eventuolly use her telepithy on me anywayz
"Britney, I JUST LOST MY VIRGINIA"
my gramma turned black and white in shocks
"TO A HOMOSSEXUAL ALIEN"
this was the overkill for my granma she started vomiting hard in jets it even blew a hole on the ceiling.
now im on my room relly deprussd... my dieary is socked and tears, my grandma is dowbstairs she calmed down a but but she still vomits regularly each 45 minutes T__T

the qyest to faggot tree part 1

2009-09-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

OH DEAR DAIRY! Today was a really effed up day! And i meen it i dont use the eff word lighty.
...just thunking about it day makes me UGH but i am gonna tell you all the happeneds
So i was in mount Gyllehnhaal i was gonna quest the faggot to cure my barf friend Hannah Montayna of dinossaurism. the faggot tree was very high up i had to climb a long perimeter However i now i have agility prowes so i can walk faster. each a hunderd kiloms there was a cowboy holding a sign saying how long it will take to reach faggot tree, so when i was only 20 mins away i deceded stay around and grind for a bit of level ups. jack (the cooboy) tipped me in going to a forest over there he said it was good for exp, and he was right all the monsters there dropped high points and items, especially the samurai trash cans, those were great cuz they were weakness to lesbian so Shane could kill them with onlya one hit. when i had up all about 4 levels i heard the special ringtone on my cellyphon (my ceelphone rangs every time i lvl up with the Tailor Swifter you belong with em ringtone, and if gain a new abiblity it rings the doctor phil shows theme)
"YAY oh a new abillyti yay" i geared and rushed to see what it is. when i used it i started feeling the changes in my insides, like a tetris board getting an all clear and now new pieces were falling replacing the old.
"omg i think a changed a pearance!" i looked at the mirror to checkerout, a man lookeed back at me! The mirror broke so hard it fell "OMG I TURNED INTO RYU FROM STREETER FIGTHER SHET!" (shet is not a course word so i can sai it its not like sh!t). i deciede to try my powers to try my powers. i elbowed a tree with my shoulder, it immeadeitely brock in 3 different places, a family of squirrels got homeless. but i built them a new house using some broken trees i break. now all the skirrels lived happily togather in one big mansion ^___^ then i said goodbye to the squirrels, they all cried like it was the end of a childrens movie, baby squirrels waved diapers in the air "we love you RYU! WE will NEVRE FORGAT YOU WE wull build you A STATUE OF HONOR OUT OF WALNUTS and ice cream sticks!" said the grandpas squirrels who were intelligant enouff to speak human portuguese. i left the place looking back only once (smiling) as i walked away the sun shone on me like the flag of japan and i thought: OMG THIS IS A AMAZING SKIL
I turned back into Mary to save mp, the tertis pieces rewinded back into place. ""phew now that i accomplished a side quest time to turn to the main invent, LETS GO GET SOME FAGGOTS!"
I walked for 25 mins (JACK SAID IT WAS ONLY 20 THAT FURKING LIYAR) and eventally reched what was clearely the faggot tree because it was a tree with fruits and it had ranbows al around and i could here a song coming from it (oh and it was huge really a huge tree). I walked a lil closer, oh, i noticed, "there is a pool over there" there was a pool over there and inside there were babies they were dancing and i could now tell the song was potty hard by andrew ok, it is a terrible song(just my opinon i dont like metal but i respoect[but really why people listen to music like that?]). The babies all banged theur heads and shaked their boobies and yelled "POTTY HARD POTTY HARD POTTY HARD POTTY HARD POTTY HARD" it was really werid. i appreached with cushion as did not want to be spatted, always hiding behind brushes, but the babies were so entranced i dont think they would a notice anyway. "they must be the army myles told me about" i thoughts "i must make my attack now while they are distracketed" and i positioned me in fighting stance. but then the music changed, now it was hit me baby one ore time by my grandma (joking! lol you know who sings this right?) "oh this is a better song" but then the babies they really started hitting babies one more time literially >__< each time she sang it they hit slap punched eached other "oh my jesus what a weird piece of mountain this is"
But i decicded atatck now anyway, maybe they wouldnt evan notice they were bein attack. "RUN RUN PORTABLE LESBIAN" i profered, and Shane came out of my space between my hands. she went for the babies in all her mite, but they werent such week opponants after all, even though babies. they noticed they were being arrested and started attacking shane, performing all kinds of attacks from the "penguin swirl" till the "pedo next door kick", they were no noobies. Shane couldnt took it no more she collapsed, "im sorry ,master i unsucceeded" she said and then she gone in a poof. "STUPID LESVIAN DICK" i yelled at her even though she had poofed "NOW THEYS KNOW THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON YUO HAD TO TALK?". immedeitelly the babies turned theur heads at me, it was like a terror movie, they started coming at me, all diaperless and covered in faces, humming to the hit me baby one more time>_<
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGAAAAHH" ice screamed, "GET WAY FROM ME I DONT WANT TO DIRTY MYSELF WITH POOS"
"It not our faulty!" said 2 or 3 of the babies "it the squerrals they stolened our diyapers and now we is forced to dump our necessities in the pool, but the pool cannt take no more"
"LOOKE" i said putting two open hands in front of me "I can go to the town and bring you lots a diapers, the most diapers you have ever experienced! and you exchange me for a faggot fruit how about?" a sweat dropped me in nervous
"NO" they all groined "WE CANT TLET ANYONE TAKE THE FAGGOTS FROM HERE ITS OUR ORDERS. AND JUST FROM ASKING THAT YOU GET DIE!"
"AAYAYA!" i let out a screech. the babing started zombiewalking their way unto me. "Ok" i said calming a bit "it is stime to use mty lost resauce, RYU!"
I tetrisized myself into Ryu and started virtua fighting them with all i goat. i managed to beat some of them, but there were just too money, i needed something stronger...
"OH I KNOW" i remembered the special teknike that ryu has! "ILL USE THE HADOUKEN!"
i put my hands in hadouken pose (it the same as kamehamha pose dragon ball raped it off lol) and then yelled HADOUKEN "HADOOOUUKEN!" MY hands started trembaling and a ball of glow grew inside, bigger and bigger, and bluer and yellower, then a door opened on that ball and from insIDE CAME OUT 4 BOYS AND A 1 GIRL, THE HADOUKEN!!! (the band) THey wewre all holding light sabers except for the lead singer cuz he was more powerful he didnt need them he could turn into a ball of magma sphere that went round and round, bump and bump, takeing everything in its past.
The babieses they dint stand a shance againts the most all powerful indie band in the univars, their witty lirycs beat their hit me babi one more times into mustard! and so did their bodies after they were finshed, cuz it was all that left was a pile of baby pulp and poo.
"OMG YOU GUYS ARE RELLY POWARFUL NO KIDDINGS" i was a maze.
"Yeah" said james the singer "chack out our newsest song MAD on yourtube"
"um, SURE, i will ^_^"
"Cool, bay" he said in allmighty indie coolness and thenn they all came in my hands and begoned.
"ok" i thought, now i just have to get the fruitys, the quest is almost to unend. i get to the tree and look up. "hmm, the fruits are rather high up maybe i should ask shane to grab them?" but my thoughts were interrupted BAMMM!!! A GUY APPARATED IN FRONT OF ME. He was tall, with longest legs i have ever seen, the longest arms i have ever seen too and also the blondest hair, everything about him was est and he was glorgeous. then i recognaze him IT IS FAI FROM TSUBASA RESISTANCE CHRONCALS
to be continue...

oh dear me...

2009-09-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

Wow my god, todays days was fuul of srupises, I don even know which war to begin…
well, i guess ill start with the context... I was at class the teacher was giving us lessons it wsa about how to calibrate a emulator, i was really not pooing atention at all i was coldnt stop thinking what will my naxt power will be like? But then SUddenly my teachers got a tweeter from Kainey West so she had to leave the room it was important.
IMMEditely as she left all the guiys got around me conteplating my contact lenses. Oh they thaught it was contasct but it wasnt it was actually last week i got the power to chenge my hair color now i change them evrytime i usually wear them one blue one green like Yuna from Final fantastic ex ^_^, but i told them guys i got contac lenses cus i didnt want them know about my powers it was a privacy policy of mine.
Sasuke especialy was especialy empressed he said the eyes remainded him of his friend sharignan. "its cool" he siad i bloshed. Hannah from behoind my seat notice the blush and smiled, oh this girl Hannah Mointana shes my barf (bestest awsome realest friend) we been barfs since babies she is really cool, she has the best of both wolrds cause she is bisexual and also during the day she is a boy named Miles and during the night she turns into a girl Hannah Montanah and she also a singer. It didnr really bother me her bisexual hermapphroditits though i am actually a very opened mind person, the only freak i dont tailorate its furrys they are an abunnimation , a violesha agayest god, UGH make me sik *burp*
Anyway so Hanah smiled and then she wanked at me like saying "wink at him" so i did i wank my green and sasuke got really happy :D
bUT SUDENELY a RPatz poster sticked out of the wall and behinD IT WAS SAKURA she had been hiding there the hole class! sertainly spuing on me an sasuke.
"YOU BITCH MACHINE" she sakura said, she meant me "YOU THINK I CANNOT FOREHEAD YOUR EVIL INDENTATIONS? YOU PLAN TO FUCK SASUKE AND THEN STOLE HIM!"
she then got in her fighting powse i could tell a attack was coming
"GREEN BODY DYE NO JUTSU" she yelled while doing complicated handjob movies, then when finished green started comung out of her hadns
i dodgeded it easily, since a few days ago i feell my egility is grower, so it was easy. then i proceeded with argument
"Whet are you gettiang so flaked up about? its not like he isnt even your boyfriend he told me" I said and it was truth
"YES HE IS MY BOYFRIEND WE EXCHANGED COWS"
Ssuke then interviened "Sakura that was in kindergordon it was just a pretend"
Sakura squirtled her eyes as if she about to cry, but i dont know if she did cause then we heard a cry and ue looked behind it was hannah, she had gotten hit with the die.
"AAaayeaahrg DX IM GREEN"
i runed to her side "Hannah i mean myles its ok it will wear off after your menstruation"
"NO U DONT UNDRESSTAND, IM GREEN I CANT BE GREEN U WONT LIKE ME WHEN IM GREEN! D=<"
"I was likw what what do u mean?"
"Dont you remember how i never wearn any member of green clothing i never eated vegittas and i never walk on grass bearfooted i always wear shoes and sometimes even sockx for double safety?"
"yeah"
"Thats because of THE GREEN i cant touch teh GREEN it makes me TURN"
"into what" i asked but needed it wasnt because she was already turning he was getting bigger and larger and a tail was also getting. her skin looked like a animal a lizard, i looked up at her head, she was opening her big mouth and yelled
"MYLEYSSAURUS!!!"
everyone inthe class got the mahjongs and ran away, except me i stayed with her
"Im not goinna stampedo or anything, im still me but its kinda sux being like this" said myles the dinossaur
"oh baby why come you didnt ever tell me about your disability?" i triesd comforting her with petting on the back but it kinda sticky her back so i stopped
"I didnt want you to thinkk of me as a freak" a tear came out of her eye and fell with a large SPLORSH
"Baby i never! you are my best barf we shall forever be frends regradeless of hour sex gender race ringtone or arm length or whatever^___^"
"Baby!<3" she said loving "i would hug you but i dont wanna crush your makeup" haha, hannah she is such a jokester =P
"OK, so now all we hav to do is waiting for your next monstruation, when was your last?"
"OH, that's a birth of a problem..." he said "you sea, dinossaures only period once every 4 years and a elf"
"WHUTS?!!!!!?!" shocl shock shcok, i could not see myself seeing my barf friend as a dino four for years!
"its ok dough, our school is special regimens they even accept transformers so theyll acept me" she smiled a malformed smile "and i can even get a career singer entertainer as a kids show"
"NO i cant allow that! we have to get you black as soon as parsible" i tohught of all the possivle cures to dinossaurism "there must be a way"
"well, ther is" myleyssaaurus said "there is a fruit wich can cure me back to original, but its really hard to get Mary, it shouldnt bother"
"NO, i will! I will gey it for you it is my fault you are this way. tell me where do get it?"
"Well, to get a faggot fruit you must go up mount gyllenhaal and reach the faggot tree however it is protected by a man and a army, he dont just give them faggots away, you will have the fight"
"I can doe that ;) " i said ^"u juts wait i will go get it be back in no time" and i left the room ready to jorney
"WAIT" yelld myleyssaurus "take this map it has the routes!" she swuoung it with her tails, i catchd it
"thanks ;)" well i kinda have to gett bed now i dont have time to finish this day events i will finish tomorrow maybe, right now i am in a forest of mouintain gyllenhaal camping and if i dont turn the lights off now the koalas may come and think its a party so i guess ill end it here, well its not like a lot happened after that, i just set my way uip up the mountain fought some random battles, nothing big deal, so yeah, thats what happened i hope tomorrow i reahc faggot tree i wonder what the faggot tree guardian is like..?

MY FIRST POWER!!

2009-09-10T22:37:00.000-07:00

Today was a really maravellous day! I got my first power!!! I'll tell you how it everything went...
I was leaving home in the morning for school, i had gotten all pretty like always with a pinch of glitter, whille walkind down the street the winde came in me and wavered my clothes and hair in sweet creamy movements, i bet if someone looked at me theyd have seen me in slow mow... the hair rougiating rebelishly like an anime, oh btw did i told u guys i look like an anime? yeah i do, i have really light skeen, pink hair, small nose so much it is almost invisable you only see the shadow of it, and the eyes so big they are HUGE turtoise blue, they have these small balls of shiney inside and they vibrate if im sad or emotional and theyre always visiable even if my hair is on front. some people say i look like Sakura from cardcaptro Sakura and i agree, i think she's really cute. i'm not conseated though! like one day the friend of my friend Jordan we were eating and he was stopping eating and he all over sudden said oh youre so cute and i sayd NO, like just yelled it at him on the ping pong restaurant NO haha so there.
Well, so i was walking my way to Massapão High and.., oh, if you think the name of my school is werid, well, that's because I leave in Portugal, its a country in Europe, if you have a maop at hand and youre courios eyelock the middle, thats where portugal is, since the middle of the world that's why my country is best. So, anyway, i all the way to the school i could nocite all the eyebulbs being directied at me especially the guyses, ever since my 13th birthfay it had been like this it actually kinda annoyeng, sometimes i thinks like is there something on my face? oh right, is the Mary Sue curse sigh
In the school grounsd pretty match the same, all guyhs eated me with their viruses, and in the classroom there was a violent dispuite over who would get the seats next to mines, there was like 6 or 7 guys havinf a super smash bros over me, sigh, i must confess i was slithly steampipish about this whale situatian.
But i followed my newly laerned word and i PRESERVERED, i did not gvie any of the guys any green cards whatsoevere , i avoided eye contracts at allways , i had built this aura of chesstitty around me it was inpenetrateable, my light of pubity dazzled dem stunned.
After classes Ricky approtched me, lol he is such a ugly. "um, Mary.. would .you like.. maybe today.. to go in..." he gaggled the whole speech, the LOL "Urgh, NO..!" i intarreptud him in desgust voice, rotating my eyes in triangles so he qould see i really wanst not intersted at all! He visible sad then proceeded to crouch on the corner of the room enveloped in dark clous.
I managed to rach the school gates finally after swimming through a sea of male askmeouts, there i noticed a figyure leaning on a tree in a perfect 45 degrees. Is pose so cool i refrigerated in amazedment. As i came closer i could see who it was, it was Sasuke and he was cosplaying as James Dean. Hewas so hot i started getting misty right away, but tried to avoid eye meetings and proceeded face forward. As i passed by his tree he approtched me. "Hey" he said, in by his voice you could tell there were more than 5 years of experiance at being popular and at least 2 years of emo and one year of rockabillity.
"Hey" i said without looking side and just kept going ong. "Wait" he said and handed me his grip, holding me towards his closeness, immeadiately i felt my virginity being threatened. "I just noticed. he said. You are very cool. I dont say that a lot. You are cool enough to be my girlfriend". I felt blushed. Sasuke was complementing me, this had never happened before not even when i saved his goldfish from drowning in curry. And telling me about being girlfriends with him?! It was very unusual for him, Sasuke used to be uninterested of girls, he was that cool.
"Sasuke-san thank you for the nice swords but i must go now" i said looking down and released myself from his fist, walked at full speed but walking not runing. "WAIT A MINT THERE!" said a voice from the rear. "WHERE ARE YOU THINK YOURE GOING BETCH?! YOU THINK YOUR ENTILTED TO EXPERIMENT WITH MY BF?" I looked back, it was Sakura, the slut that had a crash on Sasuke, not Sakura from Cardcaptors though, no, that one is cool, it was Sakkura from Sasuke.
"Look sweetie" i said vanilla coating my words, "i wasnt doing anything we were just briefly discussing trivial pursuits, right?" i awaited Sasukes approoval. "Yes" he approoved. "look Sakura dont be a goat" (thats what guys say in portuguese it kinda means the same like betch)
Sakura didnt look likie she was going out of goat mode anytime soon though. "NO ONE CHEATS ME ON SASUKE AND THEN ESCAPES SUCESSFULY" she yalled and releasing inner Sakura. it was a amazing transformation she was all her skin turned black but her outlines were white. i could feel her power it was big and as she released mroe and more all the stones rolled away from her. She wined an incantation "TENTACOOL I CHOOSE YOU NO JUTSU!" at once several of tentacles arose from the ground directing at me, they squirmed around like limp erections(not that i know what that is i just read about it!), and it hit me, i couldnt let them near me tentacles are very sexually attractive to anime girls like me they would shurely reap me. i didnt know what to do though, my fighting couldnt compare to sakura and i didnt have any powers yet... but then i felt a strange glow inside of me, it was a force of milennia, i could hear voices: "Mary Sue, you can do it", it was the voices of all the Mary Sues behind me, they were all inside of me and saying mary sue you can do it. Like magical, i knew what to do it. I raised my head in courage and said "RUN RUN PORTABLE LESBIAN!" and put my hands in kamehameha position. From them came a small person, It Was Shane From L Word!!! she was a small version but she kicked thos tentacruels like there was no day after today! Soon after they died of violence. After that being taken cared for, she ruuned toward sakura, she was surprised tryed to run but in vein, shane captched her and beat her up like that George kid from my class everyone beats up. Sakura tried fight beck but she was not strong enough, that girl Shane is relly tougf, no one can msn with her! After that Sakura was took care of Shene returned to my hands and dispeared. Sasuke was mouth-opened "JESUS BLUFFING CRIST, THAT WAS AWSOM!!"
"Yeah, i have powers" i said as if it was nothing speshial lol.
Sasuke then exchanged our pohne nºs, yay! ^^ this is being so cool i really am loving this powers thing!

Introduction

2009-09-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

Hi! My name is Mary sue and this is my diarea. I am a just normal 13 yr-old girl, wait let me scratch that off, i WAS a normal 14 year old that is until my birthday 2 months ago. Thad day my gradnma had a revelations to give me, she said "Mary-chan" thats what she calls me Mary-chan it is her afflexionate naming for me i dont really like it i prefer Sue but oh well, as revengeance i call her Bitney, she hates Britney Speras, she says when she's ontv "That bellatched woman they should haver her empoled! shaking her sexy body like a firey rooster how oh so unsighlty" and then she usually covers my eyes with a pirat patch that my brother (yes i have a brother will get to that leter^^) my brother used on Veronica's weddign for once and on the other eye she usually puts some pineapple jam so i cant see for a while and it stings but I DIGEST, lets get to the main topic, um, oh yeah, i call her britney but her reel names Mary Sue like me, thare has been a unending string of marys sues since very long ago in my family i am number 82932 and, os anyway she goes like it is my birthday and she goes like "Mary-chan, I have somehtign important to tell you it is a RAVALATION" she said it in a messianically fashion, i started getting the moosebumps all over my me "it is a secret about the line age of tje Mary Sues"; "What is it my grandomther Mary" (i didnt call her Brittney this time because it was a sirius event) and she answared "come here dear degenerate" she sat me on her laps but there was a pillow beteween me and us so it wasnt in pedophile,shes a woman anyway in canse you havent NOTICED, i hate g+utter minds, anyway "now that you are a 13 years old there will be some changes in your life..."
"Ch.ch.ch.ch..changes??" i said on stutter mode because relly nervous (not only that it is also a reference to a song of The Clash band i relly love ;)) "gradnma Sue what is..?" i was sarting to get worried, i had heard of such things from my cousin, when you reach 13 you hit poverty and you grow a penis and it bleeds every fool moon in a while... but fortunely it not the case she cleared my polterguysts away
"Look my braless child, there is a spell which befalls on all Mary Sues, and it is turned on when we turn 13. From this day oswald you will notice that boys look at you diffrently, and always in your vaccinity, they might make porposals, aks you out, even try to grape you becose for them you will be like a flashing ad that they cannot resist to click" she burped and then continued "but you MUST PRESERVERE you cannot let their wetcherd klaws upon your body, do you do understand?"
I didnt answer right away because i was still looking in the diccionary, this ravalation revealed itself to be quite a tyranossaurus, i was still looking for the word "PRESERVERE" when she decided expalin better:
"You must not have sex. you must stay a virgin until you're 20" oh i had heard about sex,... when a boy and a girl touch each others thumbs and then it gets hot they get together and put a penis inside a vagina stir it well and let it cook anf usually a baby comes out i knew all about sex but i understand grandmas have to have this conversatians, so i clamed her:
"Gramma dont worry i wont have sex i am not a slutty hoard"
"Güt" she said, her tongue unveiling her norwegian roots, "but it is not all... there is also a secret of MAGICAL!!" my eyes opened in anime, how exciting this was being!
"if you fallow the rules and dont have sex, you will get POWERS!!!!!, graduolly you will get more and more powers and incresinglly mORE POWDERFUL!!!!"
Oh how exciting, i thought, im defly not gonna have sex, i thought, not that i wanted to before i mean girls are not supposed to want to have sex those that do are bitchest hose!,
"Mother so thats why you have powers!" oh yeah forgot to mention my gramma has powers she can turn butter into toast, make chairs float and dance to rythms, shoot mouthwash out of her hands all sorsa neat stuff shes amazing i really look her up.
"yes in deed because i did not have the sex, if you do do you will LOSE THE POWERS"
"Do not crack your cucumber in cancern, i dont really like boys anyway" umm, i am NOT A LESVIAN THOUGH *points at the perverted reader* sjust in case your flithy mind was wandering...
"Ok Mary-chan" she smiled releasen me to the floor "just follow the rulers and everything will be fine"
So... that was 2 months ago, i have been a good grill and did not even lockeed guys in the eyes, i cant wait to get the powrs gran Mary says my fist power will come anytime now, oh the excitation!